Looking back!

Before I write this blog, I premise it with the assertion that there is not a day goes by when I do not thank God for his mercy and for the precious gift of life he has given me.

The car we were speeding along in on an empty road in north-eastern Kenya, rolled over. Three times. And flipped front to back. We spent the last 50 metres bumping and scraping along with the car on its side. I was truly terrified but somehow calm. I was lucky to survive. The noise of broken glass and car scraping along the floor still bothers me. As does, the pain in my shoulders and feet. For a few seconds, I truly thought I was going to die. When we came to a halt, I thought the driver was dead. Fortunately he was only unconscious and came round after about 15 minutes. However, rather symbolically, after all the flipping and rolling, the car’s final resting position was facing the opposite direction from which we were travelling. Looking back on where we came from.  

 I say symbolically because since the car accident I have tended to look back on my journey rather than forward.

Looking back and connecting with people who have journeyed with me throughout my life. Looking back by visiting significant places - like my primary school in Cardonald, Glasgow, my university in Stirling and the Corps at Gorgie. This has been deeply soothing and healing. I had the summer in the UK and spent time with people who have been placed in my life and planted their positive influence and beauty into it. They have been generous and kind to me on so many levels. I sent notes to people who have been patience and influencial with me during my teenage years. I talked (and sang) with people who supported us during our time overseas. 

Revisiting and sharing with people who have accompanied me at various points in my life seemed to remind me how friendship can cultivate so many positive memories and feelings, including a sense of security and direction. I wonder whether the protection and laughter these friendship have given me was that soothing factor. These relationships, that took time to grow, have given me a reminder and renewed sense of purpose for the future for it is in our relationships that we find peace, love and hope. I am more grateful than ever for my children, wife, family and friends and for having a second chance to share with them. I value those friendships and those special places immensely. Looking back helps us to lead a life of gratitude and reminds me of the need to keep connected.

Looking back, I have made many many mistakes, some of them huge, but even that has helped me to recount God’s grace and goodness in the past and somehow this has also reassured me that, at the very least, I am journeying on the right road. Looking back, a favourite saying given to me once reminds me that God has time and time again proved a faithful father and again I am required to be a trusting child. Despite my fears about returning to Kenya, largely centred around the traffic and insecurity, I am really having to trust. Through my friends, I am also reminded about the need to be more intentional about relational and community participation so that God can work through me and my relationships to transform individuals and society as God’s kingdom emerges.